Premise: Understand Your Position
You are joining someone else's organization.
This isn't your system. You didn't build it. You didn't set the rules. You're entering something that already exists.
That means the homework is different. When you build something, you're defining the game. When you join something, you're learning the game someone else defined.
This isn't about losing agency. It's about recognizing what agency looks like in this context.
Agency here means: understanding the system. Knowing your role. Executing it well. Then earning the right to expand.
The sequence matters. You don't get to skip homework just because you have ideas. Know your role first. Do it. Then you earn agency to shape things.
Joining isn't passive. It's active. But the game is different.
Protect Your Sanity First
The most important thing: keep your mental clarity.
When you join a new organization, especially a technical one, you're drinking from a firehose. New terminology. New systems. New expectations. People assume you know things you don't.
It's easy to lose yourself in that. To feel like you're just reacting. To let the noise drown out your own thoughts.
Don't let that happen.
You need to stay grounded. Who are you? Why are you here? What do you actually want from this?
Not what they want from you. What you want. What capability are you building? What's the underlying desire?
Maybe it's competency. Maybe it's resource agency (you need the paycheck). Maybe it's access to a network. Maybe it's learning a skill.
Be clear with yourself. Write it down if you need to.
When things get overwhelming, when you feel lost, when you're not sure what you're doing - come back to this. Remind yourself why you're here. That's your anchor.
Without mental clarity, you're just drifting. With it, you can navigate anything.
Communication: Don't Make People Defensive
You don't need people to like you. You need them to not put up walls.
When someone feels defensive, they stop sharing. They stop explaining. They give you the minimum. That kills your feedback loop.
So don't make them defensive.
How?
Don't project judgment. Don't act like you know better. Don't challenge their system on day one. You're here to learn the game, not tell them they're playing it wrong.
Even if you see problems. Even if you have better ideas. Hold them. Learn first. Earn the right to be heard.
Make yourself approachable.
Smile. Not because you want them to like you. But to signal you're not here to judge. You're not here to bite.
1 Common, 1 Compliment. Find something you have in common. Compliment something real.
This sounds robotic. It is. But it works. It lowers the guard.
Be a passage of truth.
Someone people feel comfortable sharing ideas with. Not to make them feel good. But so you can hear their real thoughts. So they actually explain things instead of giving you the polished version.
When you shut ideas down, the reaction isn't better ideas. It's no ideas at all.
Don't get me wrong: this isn't about being universally liked or being careful all the time.
When people with conviction work together, conflict is inevitable. Especially on small, tight teams, you will speak passionately and make statements that break each other’s thinking. Don't fear pushing too hard. Don't fear the reaction.
Authenticity requires saying things with force. The point isn't to walk on eggshells. The point is knowing how to bounce back. Agency means having the awareness to push with conviction, then having the sense to step back and adjust when you realize a wall went up.
You need information to flow freely. That only happens when you can navigate the back and forth without letting the walls stay up permanently.
Own Your Choice
You chose to be here. Act like it.
Carry yourself with intent. Head high. Not because you're confident you know everything. But because you're confident you chose this.
Don't show up like you're there against your will. Don't act nonchalant. Don't be the person who's "just here for the paycheck" or "just trying it out."
If that's how you feel, fine. But don't broadcast it. Because that's low agency. That's giving up control.
You made a choice. Back yourself. Own it.
Talk to people. Be present. Be engaged. Be someone who's actually here.
Not performing. Not faking interest. Actually here. Immersed in the moment.
People can tell when you're checked out. And they don't invest in people who aren't invested.
Understand the System
Your primary job: figure out how this organization works.
What is this place? What do they do? What's the mission? What are the incentives? Who are the players? What's the culture?
And most importantly: what is your role? What are you here to do?
Not what you want to do. What you're here to do.
This is the homework. Always. Know your role. Do it. Excel at it. Then you earn the right to expand.
You don't skip this step. You can't shortcut it. Even if you're talented. Even if you have ideas. Even if you see better ways.
The organization has a system. You're part of it now. Learn it first.
Agency comes from understanding the system well enough to move within it. Then change it.
When You're Lost: Optimize for Feedback
You're in a meeting. Someone says something technical. You're completely lost.
Don't panic. Don't perform. Don't nod along pretending you understand.
This isn't a test. It's feedback.
Ask yourself: what did I learn from this? Do I have a mental map yet? Where does this piece fit?
You're building a puzzle from scattered pieces. Each conversation gives you one more piece.
Sometimes you don't know where the piece goes yet. That's fine. Hold it. Keep listening. More pieces will come. The structure reveals itself over time.
When homework isn't clear, default to mediocre.
What would an average person in your position do right now to not fall behind?
Write down what you heard. Ask one clarifying question after the meeting. Read the docs tonight. Look up the terms you didn't know.
Keep moving. Clarity comes from doing, not from thinking yourself into it.
You're in the "identifying homework" state. That means feedback mode. Observe. Learn. Adjust.
Honesty + Action (Not Just Honesty)
"I don't know" stops the conversation.
Honesty is the floor. But honesty alone doesn't move things forward.
Better:
"I don't know, but here's what I understand so far. Can you tell me where I'm wrong?"
"I'm not familiar with this yet. Can you explain how it connects to X?"
"I followed up to here, then got lost at this part. What am I missing?"
You're not just saying you're lost. You're showing where you are. You're inviting correction. You're creating a feedback loop.
That's the move. Honesty + learning.
Say what you actually know. Then learn from there.
Don't Over-Inflate
Pretending is the truest anti-agency act.
When you inflate what you know, you're performing. You're putting up a guard. And that makes other people put up guards too.
They sense it. And they stop trusting you.
Worse: you lose the feedback loop. If you pretend you understand, they won't explain. You just buried yourself deeper in confusion.
Be clear about what you have. Be clear about what you don't. That's not weakness. That's honesty.
And honesty is the foundation of trust.
You can't back yourself if you don't know what you're backing. Do the work to understand what you actually have.
Building the Mental Map
Technical organizations are especially overwhelming because there's so much you don't know yet.
You're getting pieces of information scattered across meetings, docs, conversations. And they don't come in order.
You need a way to organize them. A mental map.
When someone explains something new, ask yourself:
→ Where does this fit in what I already know?
→ Is this above something I know? Below it? Next to it?
→ Does this replace something I thought I knew?
→ Does this open up new questions?
You're building the structure as you go. Each new piece either confirms what you thought, corrects it, or adds a new branch.
Write it down. Literally. Keep notes. Draw diagrams if that helps.
The map gets clearer over time. At first it's just scattered nodes. Then connections start forming. Then the whole picture emerges.
You're not trying to know everything on day one. You're trying to build the structure that lets you absorb new information faster.
Always Be Ready to Show
Here's the pattern most people fall into: "I'll show when I'm ready."
You know you're missing something. You know you're not perfect yet. So you think: I need to prepare more. I need to get better first. Then I'll show what I have.
But that's backwards.
Showing IS how you get ready.
The feedback you get from showing tells you what to prepare. Without that feedback, you're guessing. You might be preparing the wrong things entirely.
Real example:
Investor call. I thought I had weeks to prepare. Turns out the call was in an hour. I got on unprepared. I thought I was missing huge pieces - scalability plan, market analysis, all this homework I thought I needed to do.
The call happened. The feedback was specific. And it was totally different from what I thought I needed to prepare.
If I had waited to "be ready," I would've spent weeks preparing for the wrong things. Instead I got the actual feedback in real time. Now I know what actually matters.
The trade-off:
Scenario A: Prepare for 4 weeks perfectly. Show once. Maybe it works, maybe you prepared the wrong things.
Scenario B: Prepare for 1 week to mediocre. Show 4 times. Fail 3. Now you know exactly what matters for attempt 5.
Scenario B learns 4x faster.
This applies to everything.
Portfolio? Don't wait until it's perfect. Show it rough. Get feedback. Now you know what actually matters to the people looking at it.
Joining a new team? Don't wait until you fully understand before contributing. Contribute at your level. Get corrected. That's faster than studying in isolation.
The mentality shift:
Old: "I'll be ready to show when I'm prepared enough."
New: "I'm ready to show what I have right now."
Even if it's mediocre. Even if you know it's not perfect. Here's what I have. Let's see what happens.
This isn't about being reckless. It's about recognizing that preparation without feedback is just guessing.
The urgency of information.
It's not "go faster because time is running out." It's "get feedback faster because that's how you learn what actually matters."
When you optimize for perfection before showing, you're optimizing for the wrong thing. You're staying in preparation mode. You're not getting data.
When you optimize for showing faster, you get feedback faster. Now you know what to prepare. You're in the arena.
One prepared perfect shot vs ten imperfect attempts. The ten attempts win every time. Because you're learning what actually matters with each iteration.
Why you resist this.
You're self-critical. You see the gap between where you are and where you want to be. So you think: I need to close that gap before I show.
But that's the trap. The gap isn't fully visible until you show. You think you know what's missing. But you don't. Not really.
The investor call proved this. You thought you needed X, Y, Z. The actual feedback was about something else entirely.
Show to learn what's actually missing. Then prepare that. Then show again faster.
The macro vs micro disconnect.
You do this well at macro scale. Big moves. Starting companies. Deploying prototypes.
But day to day? You fall back into preparation mode. Portfolio. "I'm not ready yet."
The same principle applies. Always be ready to show. Always be in the arena. Not because you're perfect. Because that's where feedback lives.
How this connects to everything else.
When you're joining an organization, this is the feedback loop. You're identifying homework. The fastest way to identify homework? Show what you have. Get feedback. Now you know.
When you're confused in a meeting? Show your understanding. "Here's what I think I heard." Get corrected. Feedback loop closed.
When you're learning a new system? Try something. See what breaks. Faster than reading docs for a week.
This is why honesty matters. You can't show what you have if you're pretending you have more. Say what you actually have. Show that. Get feedback on reality, not performance.
This is why backing yourself matters. You need confidence to show before you're ready. Not confidence that you're perfect. Confidence that showing is the right move even when you're not.
The game isn't "be perfect then show." The game is "show to learn what perfect actually means." Then iterate.
The Micro Test: Can I Explain This Back?
Here's the standard you hold yourself to every single moment: Can I explain this back?
Someone just explained something. Can you explain it back?
You just read a doc. Can you explain what it said back?
You just finished a meeting. Can you explain what was decided back?
If the answer is no, you don't move forward. You get feedback right there.
The micro loop:
1. Someone explains something
2. You ask yourself: "Can I explain this back?"
3. If yes → Do it. "So what I'm hearing is..." Get confirmed or corrected.
4. If no → Show where you are. "I followed up to X, lost at Y."
Every single time.
This is how you learn new information faster.
When you're joining a new organization and someone's explaining something completely foreign:
Old pattern: They explain concept X. You're lost. You think "I need to understand this fully before I engage." You nod along. You go research it later. You come back next time "prepared." But by then the conversation has moved on.
New pattern: They explain concept X. You're lost. You immediately: "I'm following up to here. Lost me at this part. Can you explain that?" They clarify. Now you have the actual piece you were missing. Feedback loop closed in real time.
Examples:
Learning a new codebase? Read for 30 minutes. Build a rough mental map. Show it: "So it looks like this component does X, calls Y, and then Z happens. Is that right?" Get corrected. Now you know. Don't study for a week in isolation.
New technical concept in a meeting? Don't nod along. "Let me try to restate that. You're saying [your understanding]. Am I getting that right?" Even if it's wrong. ESPECIALLY if it's wrong. Because now they correct you. Now you learn faster.
Why this works:
You're not waiting to be ready. You're showing your current state. That invites feedback. That closes the loop.
They already know you don't fully understand. You're new. That's expected. What's unexpected? Someone who shows their understanding in real time so you can actually help them learn faster.
The day-to-day application:
Every single moment you're learning something new, externalize your understanding. Not to show off. To get corrected faster.
"So if I'm understanding this right..."
"Let me try to restate that..."
"I think I'm following, but this part doesn't make sense yet..."
Every conversation is a chance to close a feedback loop. Don't save questions for later. Don't wait until you "understand enough." Show your understanding now. Get corrected now.
The demand you make of yourself:
"I will not leave this moment without being able to explain it back."
Not perfectly. But at all. Even rough. Even with gaps. But you need to be able to say SOMETHING about what you just heard.
And if you can't, you say: "I can't explain that back yet. Can you help me understand this part?"
That's the standard. Can I explain it back? If no, fix it now.
Why this fixes procrastination:
You procrastinate because you think "I'm not ready to show yet."
But if you adopt "I'm always ready to show what I have right now," there's nothing to procrastinate. You just show current state. Always.
Right now with job searching? You're mediocre. Cool. Show that. Apply. Interview. Fail. Learn what actually matters. Prepare based on THAT. Show again.
The loop is constant. There's no "waiting to be ready" phase. You're always in motion.
Why this fixes overwhelm:
You're overwhelmed because you're holding the whole gap in your head. "I need to learn ALL of this before I can do anything."
But if you're showing micro understanding constantly, you're just dealing with one piece at a time. This concept. This question. This interview. One correction at a time.
The gap closes piece by piece. Not all at once.
The compound effect:
Day 1: You show your understanding 5 times. Get corrected 5 times. Learn 5 specific things.
Day 2: You do it again. But now you're 5 corrections ahead. Your questions are better. You learn faster.
Day 7: You're so far ahead of where you'd be if you were "preparing in isolation."
The identity shift:
You're not "someone preparing to be ready."
You're "someone always in the arena, always showing, always getting feedback."
That's a different person. That person moves faster. Learns faster. Gets less stuck.
The homework:
Tomorrow. Next meeting. Next time you're confused. Next time you're learning something. Don't wait. Show your understanding. Get corrected. Close the loop.
Every. Single. Time.
Ask yourself: Can I explain this back?
If no, fix it now.
This is how you operate at micro level. This is how the gap closes. One correction at a time. Always in motion.
Building the Skill: Capture Before Synthesis
Here's a pattern you might recognize:
Someone explains game rules. You're listening. They finish. You don't really get it. You say "okay" anyway. Then you play the game. After a few rounds, it clicks. Now you understand.
Or: You're in a meeting. Someone explains how a system works. You're lost. You don't really understand what they just said. But you nod along. Later, when you actually work with the system, it starts making sense.
This is your pattern: You learn by doing, not by hearing.
You're a pattern learner. You need to experience it, play with it, see it in action. Then the pattern emerges. Then you understand.
That's actually fine as a learning style. But it has a massive cost in organizations.
The cost:
When someone explains something and you don't understand, but you say "okay" - you just closed the feedback loop prematurely.
They think you got it. You didn't. Now you're going to struggle later. When you struggle, you'll need to go back and ask again. Slow.
Worse: Sometimes you never go back. You just fumble through with incomplete understanding. That's how mistakes happen. That's how you build things wrong.
What you're doing wrong:
Someone explains something. While they're talking, your brain is trying to synthesize. You're trying to map what they're saying to frameworks you already have. "Oh this is like..." "This relates to..."
But you're doing this with incomplete information. You haven't captured all the pieces yet. So your synthesis doesn't work. You're confused.
Instead of saying "I'm lost," you keep trying to synthesize. You're hoping it will click. It doesn't. They finish. You're still confused. But now it feels too late to admit it.
The actual problem:
You're synthesizing too early. Before you have the raw information.
Pattern learning requires complete information. You can't find the pattern with missing pieces.
When you try to synthesize while listening, you're not capturing the full information. So later, when you try to play the game or work with the system, you're working from incomplete data. That's why it takes you multiple rounds to understand.
Why this is a problem:
You want fast feedback loops. Feedback loops require people to correct you. But they can only correct you if you show what you understood.
When you synthesize too early, you lose details. When you don't capture at all, you have nothing to verify.
The clear negatives of your current pattern:
1. You waste everyone's time.
They explain something. You don't get it but say "okay." Later you need help because you're stuck. Now they have to explain again. That's inefficient for everyone.
If you'd said "I'm lost at X part" immediately, they could've clarified in 30 seconds. Instead you burn hours being stuck.
2. You look less competent than you are.
You're actually smart. You can learn complex things. But when you consistently need multiple explanations, when you struggle with things others seem to get immediately, people start to wonder.
It's not that you CAN'T learn. It's that you're learning inefficiently. But from the outside, it looks the same.
3. You build wrong things.
Someone explains requirements. You don't fully understand. You build based on incomplete information. You have to rebuild. That's wasted work.
In technical environments, this is expensive. Wasted engineering time. Wasted resources. Delayed timelines.
4. You can't teach others.
If you can't capture and articulate information, you can't pass it on. That limits your ability to lead, to scale, to operate at higher levels.
Senior people need to be able to learn something and immediately explain it to their team. You can't do that yet.
5. You're always behind.
While you're playing the game to understand the rules, others already understood from the explanation. They're three rounds ahead of you.
In organizations, this compounds. Every meeting where you don't capture fully, you fall further behind. The gap grows.
These aren't small problems. These are career-limiting problems. Capability-limiting problems.
The why this matters for where you want to go:
You want to operate at high levels. Build complex things. Lead teams. Make impact.
All of that requires fast feedback loops. Learning quickly. Communicating clearly. Building with complete information.
Your current pattern makes all of that slower. Harder. Less scalable.
You lose information fidelity → You need more iterations → Slower feedback → Slower capability building → Can't get to where you want to be as fast.
The better sequence:
Linear processors do this naturally: Capture → Verify → Synthesize
They get all the information first. Store it. Repeat it back. Get confirmation. THEN they connect it to what they know.
You're doing: Capture + Synthesize simultaneously → Missing pieces → Slow feedback
You need: Capture → Verify capture → Synthesize → Verify synthesis
This is "optimize for feedback, not perfection."
Your synthesis while listening? That's premature optimization. You're trying to understand perfectly on the first pass.
But you don't have all the pieces yet. So you're synthesizing with incomplete information.
Linear processing is: get ALL the pieces first, THEN synthesize.
The concrete failure mode:
You're in a technical meeting. Someone explains how system X works. You map it to "oh this is like a feedback loop system." You got the concept.
But they mentioned a specific edge case. A specific failure mode. A specific configuration.
You didn't catch it because you were synthesizing.
Later you build something. It breaks. Because of that edge case they mentioned.
Now you need to go back. Ask again. Debug. Slow.
If you'd captured linearly, you'd have that detail. You'd have built it right the first time. Fast.
How to practice this:
1. In any conversation where someone is explaining something - take notes.
Write down what they're saying in their words. Not your interpretation. Their actual words.
This forces capture mode. Your hand can't keep up with synthesis. It can only capture.
2. After they finish, before you respond - verify capture.
Look at your notes. "So you said [read from notes]. Is that right?"
You're showing capture, not synthesis. Get confirmation.
3. Only after they confirm - now synthesize.
"Okay, so if I'm mapping this to what I know, this is like [your framework]. Does that connection make sense?"
Now you're synthesizing with complete information. And they can correct your synthesis too.
The sequence every single time:
Capture → Verify capture → Synthesize → Verify synthesis
Day-to-day examples:
Meeting about new feature: Capture - Write down exactly what they're asking for. Verify - "So you want X to do Y when Z happens. Right?" Synthesize - "Got it, so this is essentially adding a feedback loop at this point in the system." Verify synthesis - "Does that framing make sense?"
Learning new codebase: Capture - Write down the components and what they do (their description). Verify - "So component A handles X, B handles Y. Correct?" Synthesize - "Okay so A is the controller layer, B is the data layer in my mental model." Verify synthesis - Open the code, check if your model matches.
How to catch yourself synthesizing too early:
The flag: When you feel yourself thinking "Oh this is like..." or "This relates to..." - that's synthesis starting.
Other flags: "This reminds me of..." "So basically what they're saying is..." "This is similar to..."
Any time you're translating their words into YOUR words while they're still talking - that's the flag.
When you notice that thought pattern, literally say to yourself: "Capture first."
Physical anchor:
If you're not actively writing/typing what they're saying, you're probably synthesizing.
The physical act of capturing keeps you in capture mode.
Put your pen down when you start synthesizing? Pick it back up. Keep capturing.
The test:
After they finish, ask yourself: "Can I repeat back what they said in their words? Not my interpretation. Their actual words."
If no - you synthesized too early. You have to ask them to repeat it.
That failure is the feedback. That's when you know you did it wrong.
Why synthesis feels good (and why that's the trap):
Synthesis feels satisfying. Your brain likes it. It's satisfying to connect new information to what you know.
That good feeling? That's the trap. That's the flag.
When learning feels satisfying too early, you're probably synthesizing with incomplete information.
Capture should feel boring. Mechanical. Just taking down information.
Synthesis should feel satisfying. That's when you connect things.
If synthesis is happening while they're still talking, you're doing it wrong.
The 30-day practice:
Week 1: You'll catch yourself synthesizing too early constantly. That's fine. Just restart. Capture again.
Week 2: You'll start capturing first more naturally. It'll still feel forced.
Week 3: It'll start becoming parallel. You can capture AND hold off synthesis.
Week 4: You can do both. Capture is automatic. Synthesis happens after.
Tomorrow's homework:
Every conversation where someone explains something:
1. Take notes in their words
2. Repeat back from notes
3. Get confirmation
4. Then and only then: map to your frameworks
Every time you catch yourself thinking "oh this is like..." while someone is talking:
1. Notice it
2. Say "capture first" in your head
3. Go back to writing their actual words
4. Synthesize after they're done
The muscle you're building:
Delayed synthesis. You're training yourself to sit with raw information before processing it.
This isn't abandoning your strength. Strong frameworks are valuable. This is upgrading them.
You're building information fidelity. High-fidelity capture → Rich synthesis → Faster feedback loops → Faster capability building.
Capture with high fidelity first. Then synthesize. You keep all the information. Your frameworks get richer. Your loops get faster.
It's Not Just Technical Teams
This framework applies everywhere.
Joining a run club? Same principles. Understand the culture. Know your role (you're a new member, not the leader). Don't make people defensive. Own your choice to be there. Show up like you mean it.
Joining a study group? Same thing. Learn how they operate. What's the format? What's expected? Contribute at your level. Earn trust. Then expand.
The bar is lower in these contexts. The stakes are lower. But the principles are the same.
Joining is about understanding the system, knowing your role, and executing it well. Then earning the right to shape things.
Agency isn't about doing whatever you want. It's about understanding the game you're playing and playing it well.
The Sequence
Here's the whole framework:
1. Understand your position. You're joining someone else's organization. Act accordingly.
2. Protect your sanity. Stay clear on who you are and why you're here.
3. Don't make people defensive. Lower the guard. Be approachable. Be a passage of truth.
4. Own your choice. You chose this. Carry yourself like you mean it.
5. Understand the system. What is this place? What's your role? Learn the game.
6. Optimize for feedback. When lost, don't perform. Learn. Ask. Observe.
7. Be honest + take action. Say what you know. Learn from there.
8. Don't over-inflate. Pretending kills trust and learning.
9. Build the mental map. Organize information as you go. Structure emerges over time.
This is how you join organizations with agency. Not by forcing your way. By understanding the system, doing your homework, and earning your place.